Hello steamy, intense Scorpio

Let's dive into our shadows and compost our experiences

Mmmm. I am really feeling into this Scorpio Season. Astrologers are saying it’s going to be intense, and well, I’m ready for that ride into the depths of my shadows so that come Springtime, I’m ready to emerge a whole new version of myself.

But how do we do that?

We shed, we compost, we learn, we transform.

Last month in the membership we really focused on the releasing of old aspects of ourselves and our lives. This month, we’ll be churning up all that we shed so that we can really look honestly at it and glean wisdom from it. 

To do the work of transforming we have to be able to dig thru our shit and pull out the nuggets of gold. Meaning, what are the lessons that are there for us to learn from the experience. What parts of ourselves showed thru? How did we respond? Looking back, is there anything you would have done differently? What do you need to do now to grow from this experience? And this can actually be really hard when you can see a variety of lessons, some that are contradictory. For example, is a situation trying to teach you patience and compassion or is it trying to teach you how to create stronger boundaries?

If something has ended negatively, whether it be a situation or a relationship, take a look at what role you played in it. It was there to reveal something to you about yourself. This is the work of the Ouroboros. Bringing our awareness to our awareness. (I think I heard that phrasing from Mary Reilly Nichols in her Art of Breathing course I took.) This is the image of the snake eating its own tail. So not only are we consuming ourselves, our past experiences, to nourish our current and future selves, but in doing so we bring our awareness to what it is we are consuming and how it can fertilize our growing grounds.

Image by Gordon Johnson from Pixabay

And the more we do this reflecting, this self-consumption, the more we can see into the web of synchronicity. We can begin to connect the moments of our lives and begin to see patterns, cycles, paths not taken, new paths that are possible. In yoga, we use the term Samskara to refer to our deeply embedded habits that make up our conditioning. Thru the lens of samskara we are able to dive into the ancestral healing we are doing, we can identify what stories or narratives are controlling our lives and from which we crave to break free. We can see relationship patterns and repressed emotions. We can identify trauma and pain. We breathe into stuckness. And so much more. In many ways, we develop a deep understanding of who we are and our purpose and path in this incarnation of ourselves.

And I always like to think of this type of work as a spiral more than a circle, because we are always changing and never return to the same space. Now, whether that spiral goes up or down is influenced by how we respond to whatever situation we are in.

Meaning, if we are composting some hard, deep, traumatic shit that we have experienced, we may be blinded by pain as to what the lessons are. It will be harder to find that gold nugget thru the shit. But that’s why it’s the shadow work. It’s an Innerstanding (goodness I wish I could remember where I read that word. So good!)  … and so we may actually feel low vibing for a while … which is totally part of the process! Feel those feelings! Feel the good, the bad, and the ugly. Our feelings are messengers … What lessons are your feelings revealing to you?

The lesson isn't always clear. It takes time to sit with it. Composting is a process. It doesn't happen overnight. And nor will this spiritual composting ... but that's what Fall and Winter are here for. To help us turn inward, to go deep into the darkness of our soul's night, to rest, and to transform.

So, take some time this lunar cycle to reflect on all that you’ve been through. What has it taught you? What lessons do you still need to learn?

What might go into our spiritual compost bin?  Things like long-held but no longer useful beliefs, lingering resentments, relationships that have become toxic, and anything else that weighs our soul down.  A lot of the time, when we let these things go, we find ourselves a lot lighter.

I recommend for this first week, writing down your top 5 experiences you would like to compost.

Week 2, break it down, where are the nutrients, the gold nuggets … where are the lessons?

Week 3, right around the time of the full moon, identify what’s keeping you from learning the lesson.

Week 4, write down the ways you are going to try to integrate the lesson into your life. 

This practice of letting go, of spiritually composting, has also meant that what comes out is much richer.  Processing trauma and examining what is and isn’t useful to us anymore can often provide a fertile ground for self-growth and reflection.  When I look at why I was holding on to something, I often find some small revelation about what I need in this current moment, and then I can tend to myself with care.

And remember, composting isn’t about digging through shit … it’s about massaging it, combining the right elements together to help it transform into something rich and fruitful that nourishes new growth … it’s about alchemy. 

It’s about turning lead into gold through holding yourself in a sacred space and fully embracing all of life’s wisdom. Nothing is ever singular, but rather comprised of a series of events or objects that together make a whole.

Our past has been strung together, moments in Indras Net or Indra’s pearls. This is a much-loved metaphor of Mahayana Buddhism. It illustrates the interpenetration, inter-causality, and interbeing of all things.

We cannot resent our past and still fully accept and love who we are today, because our past selves have brought us to this present moment.

Reflect and compost, dear sacred flower.